The Indian Christmas

The Indian Christmas

Indians don’t like being left out of festivities.  And with so many different religions and cultures in our country, there are an indefinite number of festivals to celebrate. We manage to find stuff to do on the Indian festivals. On bigger festivals like Holi and Diwali, we freak out with sweets and parties and crackers and colours. But then come the festivals which one would call miscellaneous or etc, etc (in other words most of us have no clue what their relevance is, but are more than happy about their existence because of the random 1 day holidays that come our way due to them.) 

You may think that a day off wouldn’t be much to cherish, but you’d be surprised at how quickly these add up and take away days from our summer break and paid vacation. Normally, on those days, you’ll find people in the malls or at PVR.

But then comes Christmas. And it fits into neither category.  And that confuses us Indians. 

To the non christian Indians, it has no practical relevance whatsoever. 

But still, we don't want to be left out. So how do we celebrate? We can’t decorate a Christmas tree. Our houses aren’t big enough to fit 2 feet tall plants inside them. We can’t go around giving presents, because we spent all our money on Diwali gifts, and we definitely can’t hang stockings in our living room, mainly because we’d find them empty the next morning baffled by the fact that Santa didn’t turn up.

So here’s what happens. Everyone ends up in the malls. Now the malls know what is going to happen. So they start commercializing, They put up huge Christmas trees, find a santa, decorate the entire area, etc. Last year one of the malls put up a castle right out out of a fairytale in their park.

I happen to live a km away from one of the big malls of New Delhi. And the 5 days preceding Christmas  saw the roads leading to the mall so jammed, that everytime I look outside I felt like I’m having a déjà vu, seeing the same set of cars outside my window, until I realized that I am looking at the same thing I saw 20 minutes ago.

So basically everyone is in the malls. It’s too cold to do anything outdoors, so there are anyways few other options. Now the malls are pretty big, but not big enough to accommodate the entire city. So as a result, there is pushing and shoving and no space to walk (or air to breathe) and suddenly, it is so hot, that you feel it isn’t winter anymore! The eating joints are in full fledged business with long waiting lines.

You would think that we'd eventually learn not to end up in the malls like we did last year, but we just CANNOT bear to be left out. We will be shoved and pushed and stuck in a traffic jam for hours at a go. 

But there is no way in hell we'll be excluded from any sort of festivity! 

Because if the whole world celebrates, so shall we!  

You know winter's catching on when...

1. You try to fit your entire body into the area in front of the heater, so that it can keep all of it warm.

2. You wear your tennis shoes everywhere you go (they keep your feet toasty warm), including the bath room.

3. You wake up at 11 a.m. and decide to fall back asleep just because it is too cold to get out of bed.

4. The fridge seems useless and you start keeping things inside it in order to keep at normal room temperature.

5. You try to hold the book you are reading in bed with your blanket, because you don't want your hands out of the blanket.

6. You are unable to move your arms, or any other part of your body, because you are wearing too many layers of clothes.

7.  The Delhi Govt, which almost never does things on time (they still haven't taken off the Common Wealth Games bus boards) , closes all schools for 20 days even before the 20 days begin.

Benefits of turning 18

Yesterday, I turned 18. I was very  surprised to find how awesome it is. Ofcourse I have only spent 2 days as an adult, but I like to be optimistic.
I have been told more than once that childhood is the best time of your life, which is why I wasnt exactly *happy* to be turning into an adult.
But when I did, and as I slowly discovered all the benefits of being an adult I realised that for now, its all good!!
Here are a few *awesome* things about being 18.

1. You are no more referred to as a "minor". Gosh I hate that word. Bloody discriminating.

2. You are taken a little more seriously by your parents (and everyone else) who until now, have been treating you as a "minor". With the legal benefits you are suddenly in possession of, they begin to take you a little more seriously.

Silence! I'll sue you!

3. You are officially on your own. No one can adopt you or take responsibility of you or claim to be your 'guardian'.

4. You can become someone's guardian. Although I really don't care to adopt or whatever, being a godmother would be cool.

5. You can drive. Although for most people this might have been on the top of the list, I don't think being 18 is a matter of concern for the Indian police. With the number of cars on the road, you could be a 9 year old in a driver's seat and get away with it.

6. You can have your own bank account. No more carrying cash or using mommy's or daddy's credit or debit card to book movie tickets. You can flash around your own. Agreed that once in a while the cashier may tell you that you do not have enough money in your account and he/she wonders if you're carrying some cash. But it is still worth it!

7. If you were very docile and gullibe (and stupid) as a child and entered your real date of birth while making online accounts on youtube, gmail, etc, you will no more be bothered by annoying warnings and restrictions saying that you need to be a certain age to have access to such content. You can finally make a google+ account just to see how good or bad it is.

Wanna see my ID?

8. You can go to adult movies without having to fear rejection at the ticket counter. Infact you can flash them your ID even if they didn't ask for it!

For all the adults out there reading this and thinking "wait till she gets a job", suck it up! Being a child might have been fun, but being an adult has its own moments.